Nor does it seem to generate this much controversy, even though widowed women talk about dating a lot.(A LOT lot.) It still seems like an insult to my friends who are widowed men (who are frequently outraged by these blogs) to admit that there is something there... Perhaps men are more frequently bad daters, overall? There is certainly scads and scads of material about dating divorced men...
Barely two years apart, my guys were gone, my heart and soul deeply damaged.
A new, fresh wave of grief, old embers that were still smoldering after my husband’s death, reignited with lighter fluid.
Having some amount of old photos on display is a good idea if he and the late wife had kids. Frequently divorced men share with their dates their feelings that their ex-wife was a skank, dumbass, or spendthrift. (History does not record for us how that affected his next relationship or the other concubines, concurrent or subsequent.) Isn't it possible he would do something like this for you, too? I have to admit my "baggage comparison" isn't really as decisive as I might have wished.
Both behaviors are tacky and unnecessary in most situations. Not my personal set of beliefs so I don't quite "get" it.) And it doesn't apply to divorce anyway, unless the ex-wife has also died. I realize that it's probably not reasonable to compare dating a widow (a nice normal one like me) with dating a widower, but I think widowed people generally are treasures in the dating world.
Pictures of his dead wife are not adorning his nightstand and his home does not resemble Miss Havisham‘s ballroom.
He doesn’t cower under the weight of disapproval from children, in-laws or friends. That leads you to question his “I love you” in word or deed? Step away from the high school cafeteria table where you once giggled and obsessed about boys. You were learning about the whole relationship boy/girl exchange, but as an adult woman, the only thing you are ever going to get from it is a big fat bruised ego. Insinuating himself into your life and your affections. Show me a “sex accident” and I will recant, but until I am offered proof, I will maintain my disbelief.If it’s not too soon to have regular “sleep over” dates than it is not too soon to ask questions when you feel that love is in the air and he, for reasons unclear, doesn’t seem to be feeling it too. It’s no different from the divorced guy whose “wife screwed him over” or the never married guy who’s “afraid of commitment because of that girl who dumped him once … The stereotypical guy whose been too hurt to open his heart again routine has rewarded many a man with the cake sans having to bake it for himself. He will not retreat or play “now you see/hear from me and now you don’t” games.The spacecraft must remain intact and cool during this encounter so that it can return to the ground in one piece.A team of brilliant scientists must properly chart the perfect course in order to achieve a successful reentry and avert disaster.Abel is far from the only author tackling this subject: in addition to his two books, Dating a Widower and Marrying a Widower, there is Julie Donner Anderson's Past: Perfect! and that knowing how few men under 55 are widowed compared to women (at one time Social Security told me it was 1 man to 7 women) makes me quite skeptical...