That's fine; you're a reasonable person — you're not asking every Joe and Jane to sweep in with a handful of rubies and a private plane to the opera.But when you're dating somebody, maybe, just maybe, if you ask nicely, they could reward your request with a tiny sweetness?
If it means that much to you, a good partner will bite the bullet and make it work once in a while, and maybe even have fun while doing it. Now, the old cliché of women chasing men down the street in wedding dresses is on its way to non-existence — but that doesn't mean we don't deserve (and demand) to have questions about a relationship's future treated with respect.
These days, there's a kind of commitment phobe in town.
While he almost makes you choke on your taco when he tells you he loves you after only a handful of dates, you tell yourself you should really "trust" him. After a full week of silence, your two best friends are willing you to "eat something." By week 12, you're strangers in the night, and all voicemails/emails go unanswered. You, however, may have diarrhea for the rest of the summer. Charm is great, but a talented charmer can turn it on anywhere, any time, with anyone.
Look for the tricks that are secret and special to just the two of you — that's how you know it's the real deal.
Lots of sex is good if everyone's on board, but the minute it becomes a chore is the moment the mood turns ice cold.
And hey, if needs aren't being met, there's no shame in the occasional solitary pleasure! There's a time and place for grand gestures, but it's not everyone's style.
Stop, think, and ask yourself: Are you dating a jerk? You allow this person to sleep over every night, almost pretending to yourself you're already living together. Or maybe that wedding she excitedly invited you to as a date suddenly ceases to exist.
This is the one who falls in love with you immediately ("immediately" being somewhere in the range of two to four weeks). Just a few days and abrupt emails later, all modes of communication are down, and a happenstance meeting on the street leaves you with nothing but a cold shoulder.
What matters, though, is that you take the time to really ask yourself that question. And now, with the power of hindsight, are you grateful for the experience?
The answer might make you cry, but you'll be better off in the long run. All told, we've met some real duds in our day, but then again, at least it made for a good Saturday story.
For the opportunity to have these self-impressed higher species of being in our lives, we put up with snide comments about our bodies, our abilities, or our supposed lack of coolness factor.